Has anybody ever struggled with when to be tough and or tender in a relationship? I know I have. Especially when it comes to dealing with my children or those whom I lead. I was speaking with our son this past week and he said, for him, that this was the year of focusing on setting boundaries. What he said kind of stuck in my mind and I have been thinking about it for the past week or so. You see to set boundaries is biblical. In the beginning when the Father spoke this planet into existence, it was, He who set everything in its rightful place, and operating within perspective boundaries. He told Adam what his duties and responsibilities were and were not. The Father set boundaries in the garden and it was only when those boundaries were violated that Adam and Eve got into trouble and suffered the consequences!
Now here is my definition of boundaries. Boundaries are rules or guidelines that a person creates to maintain their physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. Boundaries involve when to say yes and when to say no without feeling guilty. God gives us boundaries so that we can maintain the blessings that He gives us especially joy and peace. It is extremely difficult setting boundaries. I read this quote by Brené Brown, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”
I have come to the conclusion that I can be tough and say no so tenderly that I do not feel guilty when I say it. I have come to the conclusion that it is a skill that I can become good at with the Father’s help. I realize that I have still have weaknesses that need to be dealt with. I ‘ve not arrived, but I am on my way to a better me!
